How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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