Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

autistic kids rock

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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