Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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