What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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i found waldo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops