What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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