* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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