A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops