What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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