There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

What do you call a blue chair A black person

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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