Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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woman's rights

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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