What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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I asked her where you were.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops