how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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This isn't funny.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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No antijoke here.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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