roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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