Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops