How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Men's rights

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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