Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Women's rights

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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