What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops