Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

A van drives into a car.

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Error 37.

What's better than a stick? A stone

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

Poop

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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