How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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