teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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