Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops