Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's blue? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops