What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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