Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops