Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Weaner

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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