I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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