there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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