The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

A seal walks into a club.

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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