What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops