Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

thumb_up thumb_down -15

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops