A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

=3

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Chris Bosh's neck

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

human centipede

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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