roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

38 studio's new game... Finance City

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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