roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

Tunechi

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

Apple hates Blackberry.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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