What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Potassium? K.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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