What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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