What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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. . I am a whale

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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