Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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