A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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bite me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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