Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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