Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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