knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

One, two, three, four and five

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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