Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops