roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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27

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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