What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Knock knock.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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someone called someone else a frog

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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