How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops