asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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p

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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