What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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