What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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