What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats green and lives in the water

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

thumb_up thumb_down +8

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +8

1234567777777777777777778

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops