What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops