A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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