A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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