Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops