Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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