- Anti Joke

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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