Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops