Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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