My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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9/11 my birthday

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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