What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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